I Am Enough

See Amy as Caesar and many other characters March 4th-April 3rd by reserving your tickets here: http://greenhousetheater.org/

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Two questions actors get asked a lot (and some dread it) are:

1) How do you memorize all those lines? 
This is a legitimate question. I hate being asked this because I don't have an answer, honestly. Or at least an answer that would make sense to anyone other than myself. I'd love to say "I just stick the script under my pillow at night and the lines seep in!" Believe me, I've tried....

AND

2) How do you approach your character as an actor? (Also known as "What's your process?")
Honestly, I haven't solidified my own process for each show yet. I'm still discovering myself not only as an actor, but as a person. I've had some rituals that have worked for some shows, but not for others. But I'm still growing and changing and embracing that. 

ANSWER THE QUESTION, MALCOM....

I was terrified going into rehearsals. I mean....JULIUS CAESAR....!? Lord help me. I have researched this guy and know how much of a powerful warrior yet huge hot-head he is. 

HE. 
​But I'm a she...how am I going to do this and not come off like I'm trying to play a dude? 

At the beginning of our rehearsal process, our director, Lavina Jadhwani, said something that really stuck with me. She said she wanted all of us to bring our own truths to the characters. First thought: OH CRAP WHAT IS MY TRUTH? I mean, I love mac & cheese....that's a truth....but....So, that's where I started. Finding my truth. Questions I began to ask myself before each rehearsal (with my other characters in mind as well as Caesar):

• How are you feeling right now?
• How do you feel about the people around you?
• What do you want to happen right now?
• What are my relationships to these people I'm talking with?

I slowly learned how much I liked to control everything, mostly myself. I'd pre-plan the crap out of a scene before I was even on my feet looking the other actor in the face. I like-a duh control, ya'll. Why? Then it dawned on me. I DON'T WANT TO FAIL. (Oh yea, that again...) EVER. AS AN ACTOR, WOMAN, WIFE, DAUGHTER, FRIEND. And Caesar is always in complete control which means she never fails....RIGHT!? Wrong. 

​After this realization, I forced myself not to pre-plan anything. To listen, I mean REALLY LISTEN to my scene partner and hold them accountable and own whatever feelings I had in that moment and allow those feelings to change. Whether it be in the scene or from one rehearsal to the next. I began to find out what worked and what didn't and why. I was also able to call BULLS#@! on myself if it didn't feel authentic. And when I let go of those reigns and allowed myself to fail, I started learning a lot about the character and how much we have in common. 

For each day, each rehearsal, I continue to let go of the reigns and trust myself. That the most interesting journeys are the ones we have no control over. (Is that why we like roller coasters?)
So, maybe this should be my process. For every show. It all boils down to trusting yourself which isn't something one would forget. But it often is. 

As my past training at School at Steppenwolf has drilled into me...
I AM ENOUGH.

Whether it be me playing a part originally written as a woman or a man, I don't need to pretend to be something I'm not. Feelings and truths aren't gender specific, friends.
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Now I'm going to go eat mac & cheese (gluten-free) because for some reason I'm craving it...

- Amy Malcom

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Amy Malcom

Some past credits include: The Liar and Annie Get Your Gun (Creede Repertory Theatre), Duck for President (Lifeline Theatre’s TYA), Macbeth (First Folio), Happy Now? (Milwaukee Repertory Theatre),  A Christmas Carol (Metropolis Performing Arts), Love’s Labour’s Lost (Milwaukee Shakespeare), Twelfth Night (Framework Theatre) and most recently A Christmas Carol at Drury Lane Theatre. Amy is a graduate of the School of Steppenwolf. Love to her best support team of Mom, Dad and Dylan.

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